YOUR MOM

Position: Jammer/Pivot
Number: E117

Well-schooled in the art of tactical spanking, Your Mom brings her special brand of discipline to the team. Make no mistake, she has no problem knocking you into next week if you don’t eat your veggies or clean your room. Currently she is being held without bail at the local clink for undisclosed reasons. It is rumored that she was last seen baking cookies made from real Girl Scouts. So be a good little derby girl or she will put you to bed…permanently.

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