Angels Eclipse WMD's, Walk into Playoffs Undefeated

by The Ghostwriter

The outcome was no big surprise.

After skating circles around the competition all year, the Angels of Death beat the Women of Mass Destruction in the first bout of the Aug. 18th doubleheader at the Collierville FunQuest to finish the regular season undefeated (6-0).

But in the first period of the bout, the AODs found themselves facing their first real challenge since the start of this inaugural Memphis Roller Derby season.

The WMDs came out skating tough and stayed on the heels of the AODs nearly all period long. Twelve minutes into the bout, the WMDs were down by just 4 points, the score standing at 19-15.

"This is a close one!" marveled MRD announcer Doc Derby.

But as usual, standout jammer Lil' Cinner of the AODs took over, weaving in and out of the pack to stretch her team's lead to 19 at the half. The score was 42-23.

Lil' Cinner started off the second and final 20-minute period by scoring 14 points in one jam; the WMDs got nothing. From there, the league's first-place team poured on the defense and pulled away, winning by a final score of 110-34.

Despite winning handily in the end, AOD Coach Jonjitsu called the bout "the toughest one we've played all year."

Not only was it tough, it was rough.

WMD bruiser Sandstorm, who traded licks all night with the AOD blockers, ended up in the hospital with a concussion. She was later released.

"They came at it playing our game," Jonjitsu said, noting the WMDs' success in the first period of getting lead jammer status and then strategically calling off the jams.

"They came after our jammers," he added. "(WMD blocker) Bloody Elle was having a hell of a game."

The WMDs, who started the evening tied with the Legion of Zoom for second place in the league, dropped to 2-4 with the loss.

Later that night, the ladies of the Legion of Zoom took care of business, beating the PrissKilla Prezleys and claiming second place outright.

Speedster Rolls Royce exploded in the first jam for the Z-Girls, scoring 15 points. Her defenders held the PKPs to zilch.

Fellow Z-Girl jammer Machine Gun Kelly had a good night, as well, with jams where she added 8, 9 and 10 points for the Zoom.

Machine Gun Kelly said after the bout that the Z-Girl blockers did a great job protecting the jammers.

"I felt like nothing could go wrong," she said. "It was our time."

And for the first time this season, the Legion of Zoom led a bout from start to finish. They won 93-65 over the PKPs and improved to 3-3.

The PrissKilla Prezleys, meanwhile, fell to 1-5, their hopes of forcing a three-way tie for second place dashed.

It didn't help that veteran skaters Jill B. Nimble and Rattleskate left the team prior to the bout. Other PKPs, such as Hustlin' Flow, were injured.

The bright spot for the PKPs came with the play of two "newbies."

Shawty and La Sucia, who joined the team just four days before the bout, surprised everyone at the rink with their competitive play. Shawty even managed to get lead jammer status in her debut.

"It was a real treat," Lizzy Floored 'Em, of the WMDs, wrote later on MRD's web forum about the play of the new skaters.

With the regular season now over, the playoffs await.

On Sept. 8, the #1 Angels of Death meet the #4 PrissKilla Prezleys. Meanwhile, the #2 Legion of Zoom face the #3 Women of Mass Destruction.