AODs roll to 3-0

by The Ghostwriter

It's hard out there for a pivot.

But not if you roll with the Angels of Death.

In the second double header of the Memphis Roller Derby season — dubbed Hustle & Roll in a nod to the film about a rappin' Memphis pimp — the AODs skated to another easy win.

Jammer Lil' Cinner and pivot Brooken Bones led the AODs in a rout of the Women of Mass Destruction on May 26 at the Collierville Funquest.

With the Memorial Day weekend victory, the AODs remained the only undefeated team in MRD at 3-0. And after two 20-minute periods, the 168-12 final score represented the biggest blowout of the year.

Not to be outdone, that match-up was followed by possibly the most thrilling bout of MRD's inaugural season.

Down most of the evening, the Legion of Zoom staged a late comeback to defeat the PrissKilla Prezleys in electrifying fashion, winning 92-77.

From the start, the WMDs faced a steep challenge, dressing out only eight women for the bout. Many of their top skaters, including Your Mom, Jill 'Em All and Akilles Wheel, were injured or unable to skate.

The WMDs put only eight points on the board in the first period against the AODs' wall of defenders — and scrounged up just four more in the second 20 minutes. Meanwhile, the AODs piled up points. The loss dropped the WMDs' record to 1-2.

Despite the lopsided score, the mood on the rink was still jovial.

"Several times when the whistle blew I was still hugging (the WMDs') Sandstorm on the line," Brooken Bones wrote later on the MRD web forum.

"It was fun. I actually had fun in an MRD bout, and that's what it's all about, right?"

The second bout of the night — featuring the PKPs and Legion of Zoom — more than made up for the earlier lack of drama.

The bout was a rematch of a preseason meeting, won by the PKPs, marred by a hard fall that sent the Z-Girls' captain, Smashimi, to the hospital. Nearly recovered from her broken leg, Smashimi was now back on her skates and ready just in case she was needed.

Instead, she watched from the sidelines as jammer Machine Gun Kelly proved to be the spark needed by the Legion of Zoom to slip past the PKPs in a close and physical bout.

The PKPs had a strong first period showing, leading the Zoom by as many as 15 points. But the lead narrowed in the second period, and the Z-Girls took advantage in the waning minutes. With the clock winding down, Machine Gun Kelly bobbed and weaved her way through the pack to hand the stunned Pink Ladies a loss.

The Legion of Zoom improved to 2-1 for the regular season, moving up to second place in the four-team league. The PrissKilla Prezleys fell to 0-3, their first regular season win still proving to be elusive.

by "Derby Chaplain" Joe Morris

May 26 had another exciting MRD doubleheader night of action at Funquest Skating Center in Collierville. The early match pitted the Angels of Death against the Women of Mass Destruction, while the nightcap had the Legion of Zoom taking on the PrissKilla Prezleys.

The WMDs were without their two best jammers, Your Mom and Jill 'Em All. And while the AODs had seven players missing in all, they did not lose a beat. With great jamming by Gwen Reaper, Memphomaniac, and MRD scoring leader Lil' Cinner, and solid defense by Cat Claus, Manda Malice, Victator, and Brooken Bones, the AODs bursted out to an amazing 84-8 halftime lead. And they did not slow down in the second half either. Even while losing three players to penalty ejections, the WMDs couldn't find a way to stop the bleeding, as they had three players ejected as well. It was not a good night for Coach Unibobber and the WMDs, as they got blown out by the AODs by the final of 168-12.

It's proven that the AODs can jump out to big leads, but I had to ask one question. Would getting so many players ejected come back to haunt the AODs in a future match?

"Heck yeah it can," replied Brooken Bones. "We were down to nine people before the game, so having three ejected left us with six people. With five on the floor at a time and needing that 6th player to give our jammer a break, doesn't leave much room for error...or more ejections."

The good news was, Bones herself did NOT get ejected, which she says is a first for her. "We've been working on hiding our fouls from the refs a little more."

The Angels of Death move to 3-0 on the season, while the Women of Mass Destruction drop to 1-2.

In the nightcap, the PKPs were looking for their first win of the year. With good jamming led by Hustlin' Flo and Dirty Constance, they jumped out to a 45-34 over the Z-Girls at halftime. The Prezleys were looking to repeat the efforts of their preseason win over the LOZ back in December. But the Z-Girls had other ideas. With a jamming flurry, the Z-Girls tied the game late in the second half, then took the lead by six points with one jam to go. That was when Kel Diabla went on fire, scoring nine points on the final jam, while the LOZ defense held Hustlin' Flo to no points. This propelled the Z-Girls to a 92-77 victory over the PKPs.

I asked Kel Diabla to describe the comeback, especially the last jam. "I did not even realize it was the last jam, I just knew the score was close. I knew that it could go either way, and I wanted it to go our way. All for the love of Z!"

She must mean Agent Z, whoever that is.

The Legion of Zoom move to 2-1 on the season, while the PrissKilla Prezleys drop to 0-3.