by Harold Williams

Let me backtrack for a minute: it's the summer of 2005. My wife, son and I are living in New Orleans. The snowball shop I walk by every afternoon has a New Orleans Rollergirls recruiting poster in the window.

"You should do that," I tell Sonya, my wife.

And then there was Hurricane Katrina and our lives got turned upside down for a while. Not as bad as some, though. We recovered most of our stuff, and within a few months we had jobs and a house in the suburbs. Not a bad deal, really.

Then, last summer, I see something about Memphis Roller Derby. An ad in the Flyer? A poster somewhere? I forget.

"You should do that," I tell Sonya again.

And then it's earlier this year. Sonya tells me that some of the roller derby girls will be volunteering at an event she's planning. We're on the guest list for the next...game? Match? Set?

(Bout, it turns out, is the correct term.)

So on a Saturday night in April Sonya and I — along with John, our son — head out to Collierville.

"Do you think we're close?" Sonya asked after we took our exit.

"Hell if I know. I'm from the other side of the bridge. This might as well be Nashville."

The parking lot was full. Out to the street full. I wondered if everyone was there for the roller derby, or if bowling — the bowling alley is right next door — is that popular in Collierville. Or maybe Fred's was having a sale? I didn't know.

Roller derby is that popular, actually. I was impressed with the crowd. I'd actually been worrying some about a building full of seen-it-all hipsters who could only enjoy things ironically. They were there, sure, with their obscure band t-shirts and tight jeans, God bless 'em. But there were also fairly normal-looking people, too, out to cheer on their team and/or favorite player. Also a good showing from the lesbians, and dozens — dozens! — of kids. Have no doubt, it was a BIG crowd. But Memphis is really a small town, so I saw lots of people saying hey to someone they hadn't seen in a while. I saw lots of people I didn't necessarily know, but they looked familiar. You know what I mean?

I was worried about entertaining John for however long we might be there. Watching people skate real fast and fall down is fun, sure, but would it keep a three-year-old's attention for a few hours?

I shouldn't have worried about it. Along with all the other kids there was a complicated and intensely fun-looking indoor playground. John launched himself into it and I only caught glimpses of him dashing around every once in a while.

And was I entertained?

Are you kidding?

Here's what I've been telling people the Memphis Roller Derby has:

Cute chicks...
in skimpy themed outifts...
whomping the crap out of each other and themselves as they rollerskate really fast in a circle.

Who wouldn't be entertained? Why wasn't there a line out the door?

And they sell beer and skating rink food! And there's a place for your kids to play! What more could you want from a Saturday night out with the family?

As a postscript, I'll say the Wife is giving some pretty serious thought to joining up with Memphis Roller Derby. I can't think of anything cooler.