The Top 10 Signs You Might be Losing Your Derby Girl

by Angelina Rolie

Everyone knows that derby can put a strain on one's body, but derby can also put a strain on relationships. Any relationship.

Friends of derby girls find their eyes glazing over with boredom as their skater friends talk about the pros and cons of jamming versus blocking. Husbands and lovers find themselves on the outskirts, wondering if they have to learn how to hip check to get some attention.

It's never too late to try to re-connect. But first you have to recognize the signs that your derby girl is drifting. Here are MRD's Top 10 Signs You Might Be Losing Your Derby Girl:

10. Insists you call her by her derby name at all times.
9. Wears sexy, torn fishnets ... but only to the bouts.
8. Keeps her fingernails cut down to the quick.
7. Would rather go to practice than out to dinner and a movie.
6. Tells you which one of her teammates is the best kisser.
5. Stops shaving her legs in favor of wearing knee-high socks.
4. During "romantic" moments, yells out, "Oh, Coach!"
3. Her teammates see your kids more than you do.
2. Refers to you as "one of my many fans."
1. Wears her pads to bed.