AOD's Hold Off WMD's, Take Home Title

by The Ghostwriter
photos by Christopher Parks

She clutched the championship trophy and took a victory lap around the rink before handing it off to her teammates.

It was a fitting finale for star jammer Lil' Cinner and her Angels of Death teammates, who beat the Women of Mass Destruction to go undefeated in this inaugural season of Memphis Roller Derby.

"We played our hearts out," Lil' Cinner said after the Sept. 22 championship bout at the Collierville FunQuest. "It's a great accomplishment. It's been tough. The other teams have gotten better as the year's gone on."

The final score was 120-74, a comfortable margin of victory for the AODs. But from start to finish, the 60-minute bout was competitive and physical, so much so that few first-string AODs remained on the rink at the final buzzer, having been ejected for excessive fouls. The two teams were called for a combined 172 minor and 16 major fouls.

"It was the greatest game of the year," WMD coach The Unibobber proclaimed afterward. "Both teams came out to win, and that's how they played - to win."

The talent of the AODs, however, who finished the season at 8-0, was just too much for the WMDs. Lil' Cinner, who seemed like she got hit more in the championship than in any bout all season, scored 51 of the AOD's 120 points to lead all jammers. Her 10 points in the seventh jam of the second period were also a game high for most points in a jam.

AOD coach Jonjitsu later called Lil' Cinner, the team's captain, a "phenomenal" person.

"She's a leader on and off the track," he said.

AOD jammer Gwen Reaper contributed 37 points, and teammate Memphomaniac added 23. Akilles Wheel of the WMDs led her team with 32 points, followed by the Ragin' Caucasian with 28.

With the loss, the WMDs finished the season with a 3-5 record. But for the WMDs, giving the AODs a run for their money was an accomplishment in itself. Just four months ago, the WMDs were reeling from a 168-12 loss to the AODs. Since then, the team has added players, including blockers Bloody Elle and Carly Manson, and grown as a team.

In the words of The Unibobber, the WMDs have become "like a family."

"Our players are just getting better and better all the time. Our players can bring it," The Unibobber said.

AOD coach Jonjitsu agreed, saying all the teams - the WMDs, Legion of Zoom and PrissKilla Prezleys - have made great strides over the course of the season. In fact, he said he doubts the AODs will be able to run the table again next year.

"I think we accomplished something that will probably never be accomplished again in Memphis Roller Derby," Jonjitsu said. "Nobody will be able to take that away from these girls."

ANGELS OF DEATH: 120
WOMEN OF MASS DESTRUCTION: 74

♥ Ejection
SKATER JAMS LEAD BLOCKS ASSISTS MINORS MAJORS APPJ PTS
Angels of Death
Brooken Bones ♥ 0 0 4 3 11 4 0 0
Candy Crunch 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Cat Claus ♥ 0 0 4 2 12 1 0 0
Cutthroat Cutie 1 1 7 2 13 0 5 5
Gwen Reaper 13 5 3 0 5 0 2.9 37
Joanz N. TuKill 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Lil' Cinner 15 6 5 0 4 1 3.4 51
Manda Malice ♥ 0 0 8 2 11 3 0 0
Memphomaniac 6 2 10 2 9 0 3.8 23
Rollanya Asse 0 0 7 8 5 0 0 0
The Victator 0 0 13 1 13 1 0 0
Wheelie Wonka 2 1 1 4 3 0 2 4
Zell Bent 0 0 5 4 12 0 0 0
She-Devil 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Women of Mass Destruction
Akilles Wheel 12 7 3 0 1 0 2.7 32
Bad JuJu 0 0 6 4 3 1 0 0
Bloody Elle ♥ 0 0 10 4 13 1 0 0
Demi Automatic 4 1 1 0 1 0 0.3 1
General Pain 0 0 0 0 6 0 0 0
Kinky Kenevil ♥ 0 0 2 0 13 1 0 0
Lizzy Floored 'Em 0 0 3 5 2 0 0 0
Punish Her 0 0 0 1 4 0 0 0
Ragin Caucasian 11 8 6 0 4 0 2.6 28
Roxy Codone 0 0 1 0 2 2 0 0
Sand-Storm 0 0 6 5 8 1 0 0
Carly Manson 0 0 0 1 10 0 0 0
Your Mom 9 4 4 0 7 0 1.4 13