Dangerous Curves

by Chuck Vicious
Photos by Don Perry

I, Chuck Vicious, your ever-intrepid reporter, braved some dangerous curves on December 2nd in order to report to you from Memphis Roller Derby's first ever Ho Ho Ho Burlesque Show, held at the Hi-Tone here in Midtown.

As I walked in, I was happy to be greeted by the singer from the Royal Pendletons guest starring in a somewhat drunken cover of "Honky Tonk Woman" with Jack Oblivion's band The Tearjerkers. To either side of the stage were voluptuous derby babes dancing in lacy unmentionables. Everywhere I looked, there were ladies in sexy costumes performing in choreographed, naughty little numbers or preparing themselves to take the stage. DJ Steve Anne rocked the house with a derby posse of hotties as back-up.

I was pleased to find that I was not at all in the usual Saturday night Midtown sausage party, but felt that I had instead died and gone to derby heaven. Hard to believe that these women, with such fine acts and striking good looks, regularly kick the crap out of each other on the rocking and rolling derby track.

The hours of jiggly derby fun kept swingin' with performances by Harlan T. Bobo and The Dutch Masters.

This was my first delicious taste of a derby event, and I am left looking forward to keeping you folks updated on each upcoming derby goody and how the Memphis Roller Girls dominate in Midtown and beyond.