Regular Season Play Ends for AODs, PKPs; WMDs and Z-Girls hold out for March 1st

by Power Drop
photos by Jim Duong

For all those familiar with Memphis Roller Derby, the two February 2nd bouts had a familiar feel; the team up against the Angels of Death would have to cover their tails as much as possible and the other two teams would have to kick as much tail as possible to prevail. The new format of two 30-minute periods with limited introductions and breaks was a definite plus; it kept the crowd from losing their bout buzz during the lulls.

Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) said it best in The Maltese Falcon, “I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.” Well, as we all know, the Angels would not let the Z-Girls have a reasonable portion. Moreover, the Z-Girls were a depleted unit having five skaters out with injuries. They took to the rink with their remaining members, some fresh meat, and a refusal to be offered up. Rockalottapus, suited up in shiny blue padded football shorts, found herself starting her first game jamming against Lil’ Cinner. Welcome to MRD! When asked about her initiation after the bout, she shrugged it off with, “It’s all about the team. I’ll give 150% for my girls.”

The Angels of Death performed as predicted and brought a full sack of spank. It was no surprise that Lil’ Cinner was the AOD score leader with 88 points, a new MRD record, and had the highest scoring AOD jam with 15. We even saw Cinner “pass the star” to Rollanya Asse. The Victator and Cat Claus also took turns jamming. Cinner’s mother was having a good time in the stands and offered, “I was shocked when she told me she was going to join the league, but I am a proud mother and proud of her accomplishments in roller derby.”

The Z-Girl scoring leader was Rolls Royce with 18, which was remarkable since a shoulder injury sent her to the hospital after the scrimmage against the Houston HaRD Knocks All-Star team less than a month ago. The highest number of advantageous blocks was put up by fresh meat Rockalottapus who had six for the Z-Girls, while Manda Malice had four for the AODs. Brooken Bones worked her backward voodoo and whips all night and was the only player to be ejected in this bout. The final score was 189 AODs and 25 Z-Girls; 189 being a new record as well.

The Z-Girls suffered two knee-related injuries in this bout. Betty Larceny, relatively fresh meat, was the first to get hurt, but refused to go to the hospital. Again, welcome to MRD! Robin N Stealin had a similar scare in the second period and had to sit out the remainder of the game, leaving the Z-Girls to battle to the end with eight. Coach Whorecules was not daunted after the bout and offered, “…my players skated as hard as they could, and I’m looking forward to the next bout.” Some teams start infighting in these situations, but the Z-Girls have their eye on the future.

The second match saw the Prisskilla Prezleys take on the Women of Mass Destruction. It was immediately clear that both teams wanted this win, badly. The girls of the Prisskilla Prezleys continue to gel and have a quicker, more aggressive character than last year’s lineup. It was the Women of Mass Destruction that had the short roster on this go round, skating ten, with Kinky Kenevil home with the flu. Would this even the table between the two teams?

In this contest, Dirty Constance led the Prisskilla Prezleys with 25 points and Ragin Caucasian tied Your Mom with 41 as scoring leaders for the Women of Mass Destruction. The PKPs spread the highest scoring jam between Bella Trixx, Dirty Constance, Hustlin’ Flow, and Shawty, each having four points. Your Mom led the WMDs with 10 points in a single jam. Bloody Elle led all skaters for this night with eight advantageous blocks for the WMDs. Hustlin’ Flow was taken to the hospital on suspicions of a concussion in the second period. The only ejection was Envie for the PKPs.

In the end, the WMDs came out on top with 95 to the PKP’s 61. The Unabobber, head coach of the WMDs, was understandably buoyant at the conclusion of the evening and let everyone know, “My girls are play-off bound!” He definitely holds the prize for the most animated coach in MRD.

There was a large number of visiting roller girls in attendance. Members of the Central Arkansas Roller Derby were there to help with setup and to support MRD, repaying a little of the love many MRDeviants displayed on January 20th when they attended CARD’S first bout, against the River Valley Rollergirls (Ft. Smith). Nine members of the Nashville RollerGirls were holding court in the suicide seating. Slammylou Harris, with Nashville, is looking forward to another go with Memphis and provided this challenge, “Memphis rocks but Tennessee is gonna be rocked by Nashville! Honky Tonk 2008!!!” This is in reference to the Tennessee State Conference that will be held in Nashville this coming August.

It’s hard to believe there’s only one bout left before the play-offs begin. With their win over the Z, the still undefeated AODs finished their season 3-0; the PKPs finished 1-2. MRD bids a fond farewell to Colliervegas and FunQuest, the house that the Angels of Death ruled, and heads to the fairgrounds on March 1st where the Z-Girls, who are currently 0-2, will face the 1-1 WMDs in the final game of the season.

Moving the festivities to the Fairgrounds, or more importantly Midtown, is a tremendous step in the right direction. It’s sure to be the best use of the Youth Building to date.

The play-offs are slated for April 5th and the championship, April 26th, in the Youth Building.